Defining Charity

The Lord said that charity is “the pure love of Christ,” that which is “most joyous to the soul,” “the greatest of all the gifts of God,” “perfect” and “everlasting.”

As difficult as charity is to describe, it is rather easily recognized in the lives of those who possess it:

• An aged, crippled grandmother who subscribes to an afternoon newspaper, knowing it will bring her delivery-boy grandson to her home every day where, at her knee, she teaches him to pray.

• A mother who, in hard economic times and scarcity of meat, seems to savor only chicken wings, to the puzzlement of all.

• A man who suffers an undeserved public chastisement, but humbly receives it anyway.

Is not the common thread in these examples charity, a selflessness, a not seeking for anything in return? All of our divine attributes seem to flow from and be encompassed by this one. All men may have the gift of love, but charity is bestowed only upon those who are true followers of Christ.

The very power of God is found in His attributes of godliness. The power of the priesthood is maintained by these attributes. We seek these attributes, especially charity, the pure love of Christ.

Destroyers of Love and Peace

Yet there stands the devil, the destroyer of this love, replacing it with anger and hostility. My friend William felt that way: hostile. It seemed that whatever happened, it was the Lord’s fault—an illness, a death, a wayward child, a personal weakness, an “unanswered” prayer—all of which hardened his heart. His inner anger, which could flare up in but a moment, was directed toward God, his fellowman, and himself. From his heart emanated unbelief, stubbornness, pride, contention, and a loss of hope, love, and direction. He was miserable!

These destroyers of peace blinded William to God’s feelings for him. He could neither discover nor feel God’s love. He did not see, especially in those dark moments, that God was richly blessing him even still. Instead, he returned anger for love. Have we not all felt that at times? Even when we have merited love the least, He has loved us the most. Truly, He loves us first.

Suffering with Purpose: Charity Is Empowering

Now, my Christlike friend Betty was just the opposite. She encountered many of the same difficulties as did William, but because she felt God’s love, she suffered tribulation in the Savior’s name, partook of His divine nature, and thus gained a deeper faith in and a love for God, along with the strength to handle whatever might come.

Her love for others increased. She seemed to even forgive others in advance. She learned how to cause them to feel her love. She learned that love shared is love multiplied.

Finally, she learned to love herself more, being more kind, gentle, and long-suffering. She stopped her struggle for self-esteem and started loving herself the way God loved her. Her image of herself became His image of her.

Recognizing, Receiving, and Conveying God’s Love

How, then, can we better “clothe [ourselves] with the bond of charity … of perfectness and peace”? May I share with you three suggestions.

1. Recognize His love. “Pray … with all the energy of heart” for this gift. Do so in meekness with a broken heart, and you will be filled with hope and love from the Holy Ghost Himself. He will reveal Christ to you.

It is part of the gift of charity to be able to recognize the Lord’s hand and feel His love in all that surrounds us. At times it will not be easy to discover the Lord’s love for us in all that we experience, because He is a perfect, anonymous giver. You will search all your life to uncover His hand and the gifts He has bestowed upon you because of His intimate, modest, humble way of granting such wonderful gifts.

Ponder with me a moment the following majestic gifts: the glories of all creation, the earth, the heavens; your feelings of love and joy; His responses of mercy, forgiveness, and innumerable answers to prayer; the gift of loved ones; and finally the greatest gift of all—the Father’s gift of His atoning Son, the perfect one in charity, even the God of love.

2. Receive His love in humility. Be grateful for the gift and especially for the giver of the gift. True gratitude is the ability to humbly see, feel, and even receive love. Gratitude is a form of returning love to God. Recognize His hand, tell Him so, express your love to Him. As you come to truly know the Lord, you will find an intimate, sacred relationship built on trust. You will come to know He understands your anguish and will, in compassion, always respond to you in love.

Receive it. Feel it. It is not enough just to know that God loves you. The gift is to be felt continually day by day. It will then be a divine motivator throughout your life. Repent. Remove any worldliness from your life, including anger. Receive a continual remission of your sins, and you will bridle all your passions and be filled with love.

3. Convey His love. The Lord’s response to us is always filled with love. Should not our response to Him be in kind, with real feelings of love? He gives grace (or goodness) for grace, attribute for attribute. As our obedience increases, we receive more grace (or goodness) for the grace we return to Him. Offer Him the refinement of your attributes, so that when He does appear you will be like Him.

As a man first immerses his thoughts in love and conveys those feelings to God, man, or self, a magnified portion of that attribute will surely follow from the Spirit. That is true of all godly attributes. Righteous feelings generated by a man seem to precede the increase of those feelings from the Spirit. Unless you are feeling love, you cannot convey true love to others. The Lord has told us to love one another as He loves us, so remember: to be loved, truly love.

The Fruits of the Gift of Charity

Brothers and sisters, as an especial witness of Christ, I bear testimony to you again of the overwhelming love of God for each of us personally. Magnifying that gift from God will bring a new heart, a pure heart, and ever-increasing love and peace. As we increasingly think and act like Him, the attributes of the natural man will slip away to be replaced by the heart and the mind of Christ. We will become like Him and then truly receive Him.

The prophet of the Lord here before you loves you, as do all these, my Brethren. May the Lord bless us to always have “the affections of [our] heart … placed upon [Him] forever.” “That [our] burdens may be light, through the joy of his Son” is my prayer in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, amen.

It matters not whether we are new converts or lifelong members; single, married, divorced, or widowed; whether we’re rich, poor, educated, or uneducated; living in a modern city or in the most remote jungle village. We, as covenant women, have consecrated ourselves to the cause of Christ through our baptismal and temple covenants. We can alter the face of the earth one family and one home at a time through charity, our small and simple acts of pure love.

Charity, the Savior’s pure love, is the “highest, noblest, strongest kind of love,” which we “pray unto the Father with all the energy of heart” to possess. Elder Dallin H. Oaks teaches us that charity “is not an act but a condition or state of being [one becomes].” Our day-to-day offerings of charity are “written not with ink, but with the Spirit of the living God; … in [the] fleshy tables of [our] heart[s].” Little by little our charitable acts change our natures, define our characters, and ultimately make us women with the courage and commitment to say to the Lord, “Here am I; send me.”

As our exemplar, the Savior showed us what charity means through His own actions. Besides ministering to multitudes, Jesus demonstrated the depth of His love and care for His family. Even while suffering terrible agony on the cross, He thought of His mother and her needs:

“Now there stood by the cross of Jesus his mother. …

“When Jesus therefore saw his mother, and the disciple standing by, whom he loved, he saith unto his mother, Woman, behold thy son!

“Then saith he to the disciple, Behold thy mother! And from that hour that disciple took her unto his own home.”

I find it touching that this scripture shows the depth of John’s devotion to Mary by saying that he “took her unto his own home.” I believe the most important acts of charity are small and simple in nature, eternal in consequence, and are rendered within the walls of our own homes.

As we try to deal patiently and lovingly every day with fussy babies, challenging teenagers, difficult roommates, less-active spouses, or elderly, disabled parents, we may ask ourselves: “Is what I am doing really important? Does it matter or make a difference?” Dear sisters, what you are doing with your families matters! It matters so very, very much. Daily, each of us learns and relearns at home that charity, the Savior’s pure love, never faileth. So many Relief Society sisters do great good serving in their families. These faithful women do not receive the praise of the world—nor do they seek it—but “of some have compassion, making a difference.”

Who are these women who make a difference? In Nauvoo our early Relief Society sisters, in the midst of grinding poverty, opened their hearts and welcomed into their homes many new converts streaming into the city. They shared their food, their clothing, and more important, they shared their faith in the redeeming love of the Savior.

In our times, Sister Knell is a covenant woman who makes a difference. She is a widow in her 80s with a 47-year-old son, mentally and physically disabled from birth. A few years ago this dear sister set out to do what seemed impossible to everyone else—to teach her son Keith to read. Learning to read was his greatest desire, but doctors had said Keith was incapable of reading. With faith in her heart and a desire to bless her son’s life, this humble widow said to her son, “I know Heavenly Father will bless you so you can read the Book of Mormon.”

Sister Knell wrote the following: “It was hard work for Keith, and it wasn’t easy for me, either. At first there were some bad days, because I got upset. It has been a time-consuming, word-by-word struggle. I sit by his side each morning. I point to each word with a pencil to help him stay on track. After seven long years and one month, Keith finally finished reading the Book of Mormon.” His mother said, “Hearing him read a verse without help is a thrill I just cannot put into words.” She testifies, “I know miracles do happen when we put our trust in the Lord.”

Throughout the world in Africa, Asia, the Pacific, North and South America, and Europe, charitable women, united with their families, also make a difference in their communities. On the tiny island of Trinidad, Sister Ramoutar, a busy branch Relief Society president, and her family are helping neighborhood children. The Ramoutars live in a village that is a “drug-infested” place where many parents and adults are addicted to alcohol or are trafficking in drugs. The children are at great risk and are often without supervision. Many do not attend school.

Every Thursday night, as many as 30 children, ages 3 to 19 years, sit in the covered area outside of the Ramoutar home, eagerly participating in a group known as “Our One Big Happy Family.” Prayers, hymns, fun songs, and the sharing of good deeds done by the children each week are part of the activities. Sometimes doctors, policemen, teachers, or our own missionaries share useful lessons such as President Gordon B. Hinckley’s six B’s. The Ramoutar family rescues children through their small and simple acts of charity. As they have shared the gospel in their “One Big Happy Family,” others have joined the Church.

Beloved Relief Society sisters, I know that wherever we live, in whatever circumstances we find ourselves, we, as covenant women, united in righteousness, can alter the face of the earth. I testify as did Alma that “by small and simple things are great things brought to pass.” In our homes, those small and simple things—our daily acts of charity—proclaim our conviction, “Here am I; send me.”

I leave my witness that the greatest act of charity in time and all eternity was the Atonement of Jesus Christ. He willingly laid down His life to atone for my sins and yours. I express my devotion to His cause and my desire to serve Him always, wherever He calls me, in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

In a radio interview I was once asked, “If you could have any wish for women, what would it be?” I said, “I would want women to know how good they are. I would want them to feel valued for their own goodness.”

As I speak to you I can’t help but think of my mother, who died 26 years ago. Like many of you, I learned so much from my mother. She taught me the importance of grammar, manners, cleanliness, and education. She was a gracious woman. She taught me the principles of the gospel and doctrines of the kingdom of God. She was an example of great faith, hope in abundance, and pure charity.

I doubt my mother would ever have imagined that someday her daughter from the little community of Cardston would be speaking by satellite broadcast to women around the world and that I would be sharing those things that I learned at home. So many years have passed since the two of us were together, but I often feel my mother is right with me. This prompts me to ask, sisters, how can we ever gauge the effects of our touch, our reach, or our influence?

As I have served in this calling, I have prayed that the Lord would help me understand the hearts of women in His Church. The heart is the key to our influence, for it counts and measures each kindness, each effort, each time we lift, praise, teach, or cheer one another. I have come to know that the hearts of Relief Society women are full of love. I have seen examples in every branch, ward, and stake I have visited, and I have heard of the goodness of the women of this Church in letters that bear testimony that “Charity Never Faileth.”

Charity is work of the heart.

The Savior said that “the great commandment in the law” is “Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind” (Matt. 22:36–37). When we love the Lord with all our mind, soul, and heart, we love others. And charity abounds.

This isn’t news to you, because you spend your days doing good for others—for your family, your neighbors, your sisters, even strangers. Your efforts to assist and help others have become so much a part of your personal style that, for the most part, they are spontaneous, instinctive, immediate.

Most of you think I am describing someone else. You may be saying, “There’s nothing special about me. I’m just ordinary.”

I’d say the same thing. “I’m just an ordinary woman with the same joys and frustrations of every other woman.” Sometimes the frustrations are great; and sometimes the joys simple, like having an even number of socks come out of the dryer. We all work at feeling joy and finding peace. One of our greatest tools in the process is charity.

In the scriptures, we find many examples of women whose daily efforts reflected charity. With their hearts filled with the pure love of Christ, they responded to needs quickly and effectively.

Rebekah, who eventually became the wife of Isaac and the mother of Jacob and Esau, was just such a woman. In the normal pattern of her daily tasks, she was kind to Abraham’s servant who was visiting her village on the dramatic mission to secure a wife for Isaac.

The Lord knew Rebekah’s heart; he knew how she would respond when she observed a need. He answered the servant’s prayer that the young woman who was to become Isaac’s wife would offer him water.

In Genesis we read, “Behold, Rebekah came out … with her pitcher upon her shoulder” and went down to the well (Gen. 24:15). You know that story. The servant asked for a drink. Whole family trees hung in the balance of her answer.

She said, “Drink, my lord,” and then added, “I will draw water for thy camels also, until they have done drinking.

“And she hasted, and emptied her pitcher into the trough, and ran again unto the well to draw water, and drew for all his camels” (Gen. 24:18–20).

Her brother Laban invited him to lodge, and not until the servant was introduced did she discover he was the servant of her uncle. Her charitable response to this stranger was automatic. She did not stop to think, I am giving service, nor did she consider the station of the one in need. She hastened to serve water—to camels.

Respectfully, she offered an act of service, a simple one, and from that act was born a family of great influence for whole dispensations. Rebekah loved with worthiness and willingness as a daughter of God. Remember the question, Who can gauge the reach of our goodness?

From her we learn that charity, though often quantified as the action, is actually the state of the heart that prompts us to love one another. She offered water. It was in the offering that charity was manifest.

I recently received a letter from a sister serving a mission in Siberia that showed how a small group of Russian sisters was engaged in this active kind of love. Sister Okelberry said:

“I am proud to report that the women of Siberia have caught the vision of the Relief Society. Sister Kappenkova, a six-month Church member, has risen to the mighty challenge of Relief Society president of this northernmost group in Russia. She, along with her counselors, understands the importance of visiting teaching and is helping these sisters serve each other and build each other—saving them from the dangers of inactivity. They are teaching each other precious gospel principles and valuable skills in leadership as mothers, wives, and women in the Church. Conditions are not easy for them. Yet they understand and have already embraced those immortal words ‘Charity Never Faileth.’ It has been an honor to watch this develop right before my eyes.

“With only one short and very precious week left of my missionary time, I know that my sisters will be left in good hands—they are all taking care of each other” (letter from Michelle Okelberry, 31 Jan. 1996).

Alma emphasized the importance of “having the love of God always in your hearts” (Alma 13:29). Charity is that love. Charity is a gift of the Spirit, for “all things which are good cometh of God” (Moro. 7:12). And this gift is multiplied as it is used.

Both the giver and the receiver are blessed. For charity purifies and sanctifies all it touches, and “whoso is found possessed of it at the last day, it shall be well with him” (Moro. 7:47).

The greatest acts of charity come from giving of yourself and receiving expressions of charity with humility as well. President Spencer W. Kimball illustrated this truth in an inspiring example. He said: “[The Savior’s] gifts were rare ones: eyes to the blind, ears to the deaf, and legs to the lame; cleanliness to the unclean, wholeness to the infirm, and breath to the lifeless. His gifts were … forgiveness to the repentant, hope to the despairing. His friends gave him shelter, food, and love. He gave them of himself, his love, his service, his life. … We should strive to give as he gave. To give of oneself is a holy gift” (The Wondrous Gift [1978], 2).

I’ve thought about this: “To give of oneself is a holy gift.” “We should strive to give as he gave.” What wise counsel! When we give our time, our energy, our commitment, our testimony to others, we are giving of ourselves. We are sharing intangibles, not easily left on the doorstep but easily deposited in the heart.

So it is with kindness. Nothing will bring the Spirit of the Lord into your meetings, your homes, and your personal associations more quickly than showing kindness. “Charity … is kind” (1 Cor. 13:4). Kindness should be right at the top of everyone’s list of things to do. Write it down every day: “Be kind.” Kindness comes in many different packages. Be thoughtful to your neighbors. Be patient in a crowd. Be considerate of your children and your husband. Be honest with your sisters. Trust them and they will trust you. Go out and bring them into this grand circle of sisters we call Relief Society. As we increase our kindness, we add charity to our storehouse and we are strengthened.

A Relief Society sister who had moved to Texas to continue her education and then was moving again wrote to me this summer. She told of her experience with the sisters in her ward, of their quick action, willing hands, warmth, and kindness. But it wasn’t what they did that prompted her letter; it was why. They loved her, and she could feel it. As they shared with her, multiplying their gifts, she too was strengthened in charity. Listen to her story, because it represents all of you and your quiet goodness:

“As I write these words, I have to squint at my computer screen and keep blinking away tears of gratitude. From the first day I attended the Austin Fourth Ward, I was touched by the spirit of love and caring I felt in the Relief Society. These sisters are very diverse. There are converts and lifelong members, native Texans and Mountain West transplants. They are married, divorced, and single, some with sufficient means, others with very few resources. Yet it doesn’t seem to make any difference.

“I can’t tell you of the untold kindnesses they’ve done for me. They aren’t earthshaking events, but an accumulation of small blessings: stopping by my apartment to take my dog for a walk, offering to take care of some mending, tracking down packing boxes for me, and including me in their personal prayers. This Sabbath day, the words of the hymn ‘As Sisters in Zion’ [Hymns, no. 309] keep running through my mind. I want you to know that the sisters are indeed ‘build[ing] up his kingdom with earnest endeavor,’ and ‘comfort[ing] the weary and strengthen[ing] the weak’” (letter from Katherine Boswell, 11 Aug. 1996).

Is there any question of the righteous influence of the women of this Church? In this tabernacle, in Texas, in tiny branches, sprawling wards, and stakes around the world, our efforts sound the theme “Charity Never Faileth.” What a promise! As it is heard here and recorded in heaven, may we remember, sisters, this is our theme and our message to the world. It isn’t what we do; it is the heart with which we do it.

President Joseph F. Smith said of his responsibilities when serving in the First Presidency, “I am called to do good” (Collected Discourses, comp. Brian H. Stuy, 5 vols. [1992], 5:92). Such a simple, sincere statement. As followers of Jesus Christ, we too are “called to do good.” Sisters, you do great good; you are so very good.

Belle Spafford, former general Relief Society president, stated, “Relief Society is only on the threshold of its divine mission” (History of Relief Society [1966], 140).

I echo that sentiment. Sisters, we are poised to stride across that threshold into a new era of spirituality and light. Can we, in our daily lives, draw others to Jesus Christ? Can our faith, hope, and charity be the critical forces of significant influence? Yes, a resounding yes.

Sister Clyde has spoken eloquently of being steadfast and courageous in our convictions. With her special talent for teaching, Sister Okazaki has shown us how to choose hope in Christ. I add to their messages my conviction that we will be strengthened in charity. To all the sisters in this Church, I ask that our love of God be reflected in our willingness to serve and be served. May we in our homes teach concern for others, sacrifice, and service. I earnestly pray that we may share our gifts from God whether they be our minds, our music, our athletic ability, our leadership, our compassion, our sense of humor, our peaceful countenance, or our resilience and rejoicing. With charitable hearts may we do remarkable work in these last days. And then we will merit the pronouncement from Jesus Christ, “For this is Zion—THE PURE IN HEART” (D&C 97:21).

I bear you my testimony of the truths spoken here tonight and the significance of each of your lives. Jesus Christ is the head of this Church, and we are led by a prophet of God. I am grateful for that blessing and for priesthood leaders who work diligently and effectively in our behalf. They, too, bless lives with hearts full of charity. I leave you with the joy I feel in my heart for this glorious gospel and with my love for all of you. In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

I begin with a short anecdote which illustrates a point I should like to make.

A young couple, Lisa and John, moved into a new neighborhood. One morning while they were eating breakfast, Lisa looked out the window and watched her next-door neighbor hanging out her wash.

“That laundry’s not clean!” Lisa exclaimed. “Our neighbor doesn’t know how to get clothes clean!”

John looked on but remained silent.

Every time her neighbor would hang her wash to dry, Lisa would make the same comments.

A few weeks later Lisa was surprised to glance out her window and see a nice, clean wash hanging in her neighbor’s yard. She said to her husband, “Look, John—she’s finally learned how to wash correctly! I wonder how she did it.”

John replied, “Well, dear, I have the answer for you. You’ll be interested to know that I got up early this morning and washed our windows!”

Tonight I’d like to share with you a few thoughts concerning how we view each other. Are we looking through a window which needs cleaning? Are we making judgments when we don’t have all the facts? What do we see when we look at others? What judgments do we make about them?

Said the Savior, “Judge not.” He continued, “Why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother’s eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye?” Or, to paraphrase, why beholdest thou what you think is dirty laundry at your neighbor’s house but considerest not the soiled window in your own house?

None of us is perfect. I know of no one who would profess to be so. And yet for some reason, despite our own imperfections, we have a tendency to point out those of others. We make judgments concerning their actions or inactions.

There is really no way we can know the heart, the intentions, or the circumstances of someone who might say or do something we find reason to criticize. Thus the commandment: “Judge not.”

Forty-seven years ago this general conference, I was called to the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles. At the time, I had been serving on one of the general priesthood committees of the Church, and so before my name was presented, I sat with my fellow members of that priesthood committee, as was expected of me. My wife, however, had no idea where to go and no one with whom she could sit and, in fact, was unable to find a seat anywhere in the Tabernacle. A dear friend of ours, who was a member of one of the general auxiliary boards and who was sitting in the area designated for the board members, asked Sister Monson to sit with her. This woman knew nothing of my call—which would be announced shortly—but she spotted Sister Monson, recognized her consternation, and graciously offered her a seat. My dear wife was relieved and grateful for this kind gesture. Sitting down, however, she heard loud whispering behind her as one of the board members expressed her annoyance to those around her that one of her fellow board members would have the audacity to invite an “outsider” to sit in this area reserved only for them. There was no excuse for her unkind behavior, regardless of who might have been invited to sit there. However, I can only imagine how that woman felt when she learned that the “intruder” was the wife of the newest Apostle.

Not only are we inclined to judge the actions and words of others, but many of us judge appearances: clothing, hairstyles, size. The list could go on and on.

A classic account of judging by appearance was printed in a national magazine many years ago. It is a true account—one which you may have heard but which bears repeating.

A woman by the name of Mary Bartels had a home directly across the street from the entrance to a hospital clinic. Her family lived on the main floor and rented the upstairs rooms to outpatients at the clinic.

One evening a truly awful-looking old man came to the door asking if there was room for him to stay the night. He was stooped and shriveled, and his face was lopsided from swelling—red and raw. He said he’d been hunting for a room since noon but with no success. “I guess it’s my face,” he said. “I know it looks terrible, but my doctor says it could possibly improve after more treatments.” He indicated he’d be happy to sleep in the rocking chair on the porch. As she talked with him, Mary realized this little old man had an oversized heart crowded into that tiny body. Although her rooms were filled, she told him to wait in the chair and she’d find him a place to sleep.

At bedtime Mary’s husband set up a camp cot for the man. When she checked in the morning, the bed linens were neatly folded and he was out on the porch. He refused breakfast, but just before he left for his bus, he asked if he could return the next time he had a treatment. “I won’t put you out a bit,” he promised. “I can sleep fine in a chair.” Mary assured him he was welcome to come again.

In the several years he went for treatments and stayed in Mary’s home, the old man, who was a fisherman by trade, always had gifts of seafood or vegetables from his garden. Other times he sent packages in the mail.

When Mary received these thoughtful gifts, she often thought of a comment her next-door neighbor made after the disfigured, stooped old man had left Mary’s home that first morning. “Did you keep that awful-looking man last night? I turned him away. You can lose customers by putting up such people.”

Mary knew that maybe they had lost customers once or twice, but she thought, “Oh, if only they could have known him, perhaps their illnesses would have been easier to bear.”

After the man passed away, Mary was visiting with a friend who had a greenhouse. As she looked at her friend’s flowers, she noticed a beautiful golden chrysanthemum but was puzzled that it was growing in a dented, old, rusty bucket. Her friend explained, “I ran short of pots, and knowing how beautiful this one would be, I thought it wouldn’t mind starting in this old pail. It’s just for a little while, until I can put it out in the garden.”

Mary smiled as she imagined just such a scene in heaven. “Here’s an especially beautiful one,” God might have said when He came to the soul of the little old man. “He won’t mind starting in this small, misshapen body.” But that was long ago, and in God’s garden how tall this lovely soul must stand!

Appearances can be so deceiving, such a poor measure of a person. Admonished the Savior, “Judge not according to the appearance.”

A member of a women’s organization once complained when a certain woman was selected to represent the organization. She had never met the woman, but she had seen a photograph of her and didn’t like what she saw, considering her to be overweight. She commented, “Of the thousands of women in this organization, surely a better representative could have been chosen.”

True, the woman who was chosen was not “model slim.” But those who knew her and knew her qualities saw in her far more than was reflected in the photograph. The photograph did show that she had a friendly smile and a look of confidence. What the photograph didn’t show was that she was a loyal and compassionate friend, a woman of intelligence who loved the Lord and who loved and served His children. It didn’t show that she volunteered in the community and was a considerate and concerned neighbor. In short, the photograph did not reflect who she really was.

I ask: if attitudes, deeds, and spiritual inclinations were reflected in physical features, would the countenance of the woman who complained be as lovely as that of the woman she criticized?

My dear sisters, each of you is unique. You are different from each other in many ways. There are those of you who are married. Some of you stay at home with your children, while others of you work outside your homes. Some of you are empty nesters. There are those of you who are married but do not have children. There are those who are divorced, those who are widowed. Many of you are single women. Some of you have college degrees; some of you do not. There are those who can afford the latest fashions and those who are lucky to have one appropriate Sunday outfit. Such differences are almost endless. Do these differences tempt us to judge one another?

Mother Teresa, a Catholic nun who worked among the poor in India most of her life, spoke this profound truth: “If you judge people, you have no time to love them.” The Savior has admonished, “This is my commandment, That ye love one another, as I have loved you.” I ask: can we love one another, as the Savior has commanded, if we judge each other? And I answer—with Mother Teresa: no, we cannot.

The Apostle James taught, “If any … among you seem to be religious, and bridleth not his tongue, but deceiveth his own heart, this man’s [or woman’s] religion is vain.”

I have always loved your Relief Society motto: “Charity never faileth.” What is charity? The prophet Mormon teaches us that “charity is the pure love of Christ.” In his farewell message to the Lamanites, Moroni declared, “Except ye have charity ye can in nowise be saved in the kingdom of God.”

I consider charity—or “the pure love of Christ”—to be the opposite of criticism and judging. In speaking of charity, I do not at this moment have in mind the relief of the suffering through the giving of our substance. That, of course, is necessary and proper. Tonight, however, I have in mind the charity that manifests itself when we are tolerant of others and lenient toward their actions, the kind of charity that forgives, the kind of charity that is patient.

I have in mind the charity that impels us to be sympathetic, compassionate, and merciful, not only in times of sickness and affliction and distress but also in times of weakness or error on the part of others.

There is a serious need for the charity that gives attention to those who are unnoticed, hope to those who are discouraged, aid to those who are afflicted. True charity is love in action. The need for charity is everywhere.

Needed is the charity which refuses to find satisfaction in hearing or in repeating the reports of misfortunes that come to others, unless by so doing, the unfortunate one may be benefited. The American educator and politician Horace Mann once said, “To pity distress is but human; to relieve it is godlike.”

Charity is having patience with someone who has let us down. It is resisting the impulse to become offended easily. It is accepting weaknesses and shortcomings. It is accepting people as they truly are. It is looking beyond physical appearances to attributes that will not dim through time. It is resisting the impulse to categorize others.

Charity, that pure love of Christ, is manifest when a group of young women from a singles ward travels hundreds of miles to attend the funeral services for the mother of one of their Relief Society sisters. Charity is shown when devoted visiting teachers return month after month, year after year to the same uninterested, somewhat critical sister. It is evident when an elderly widow is remembered and taken to ward functions and to Relief Society activities. It is felt when the sister sitting alone in Relief Society receives the invitation, “Come—sit by us.”

In a hundred small ways, all of you wear the mantle of charity. Life is perfect for none of us. Rather than being judgmental and critical of each other, may we have the pure love of Christ for our fellow travelers in this journey through life. May we recognize that each one is doing her best to deal with the challenges which come her way, and may we strive to do our best to help out.

Charity has been defined as “the highest, noblest, strongest kind of love,” the “pure love of Christ … ; and whoso is found possessed of it at the last day, it shall be well with [her].”

“Charity never faileth.” May this long-enduring Relief Society motto, this timeless truth, guide you in everything you do. May it permeate your very souls and find expression in all your thoughts and actions.

I express my love to you, my sisters, and pray that heaven’s blessings may ever be yours. In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

My thoughts turned to the founding of the Relief Society and to some of the teachings that the Relief Society sisters received from the Prophet Joseph in that very room. Those teachings became the foundational principles upon which the Relief Society was built. The purposes of increasing faith, strengthening the homes of Zion, and seeking out and helping those in need were established from the beginning. They have always been consistent with the teachings of our prophets.

In one of those early meetings, the Prophet Joseph quoted from Paul’s writings to the Corinthians. In his powerful discourse on charity, Paul makes reference to faith, hope, and charity, concluding with, “But the greatest of these is charity.”

He describes the qualities embodied in charity. He said:

“Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up,

“… Seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil;

“Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth;

“Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.

“Charity never faileth.”

Speaking to the sisters, the Prophet Joseph said: “Don’t be limited in your views with regard to your neighbors’ virtues. … You must enlarge your souls toward others if you [would] do like Jesus. … As you increase in innocence and virtue, as you increase in goodness, let your hearts expand—let them be enlarged towards others—you must be longsuffering and bear with the faults and errors of mankind. How precious are the souls of men!”

The scriptural declaration “Charity never faileth” became the motto of Relief Society because it embraces these teachings and the charge that the Prophet Joseph Smith had given the Relief Society sisters to “relieve the poor” and to “save souls.”

These foundational principles have been embraced by Relief Society sisters throughout the world, for such is the nature of the work of Relief Society.

What is charity? How do we obtain charity?

The prophet Mormon defines charity as “the pure love of Christ,” while Paul teaches that “charity … is the bond of perfectness,” and Nephi reminds us that “the Lord God hath given a commandment that all men should have charity, which charity is love.”

In reviewing Paul’s previous description of charity, we learn that charity is not a single act or something we give away but a state of being, a state of the heart, kind feelings that engender loving actions.

Mormon also teaches that charity is bestowed upon the Lord’s true disciples and that charity purifies those who have it. In addition, we learn that charity is a divine gift which we must seek and pray for. We need to have charity in our hearts in order to inherit the celestial kingdom.

With the understanding that the Lord has asked us to “clothe [our]selves with the bond of charity,” we must ask what qualities will help us develop charity.

We must first have the desire to increase in charity and be more Christlike.

The next step is to pray. Mormon exhorts us to “pray unto the Father with all the energy of heart, that [we] may be filled with this love.” This godly love is charity, and as we are filled with this love, so “we shall be like him.”

Reading scriptures daily can bring our minds to the Savior and to a desire to be more like Him.

In my office I chose to hang a painting by Minerva Teichert titled Rescue of the Lost Lamb. It depicts the Savior standing among His sheep and tenderly holding a small lamb in His arms. It helps me reflect on His entreaty: “Feed my sheep,” which to me means minister to all those around you and give special attention to those in need.

The Savior is the perfect example of how to extend charity. During His mortal ministry He showed compassion for the hungry, for the sinner, for the afflicted, and for the sick. He ministered to the poor and to the rich; to women, children, and men; to family, friends, and strangers. He forgave His accusers, and He suffered and died for all mankind.

Throughout his life the Prophet Joseph Smith also practiced charity as he extended brotherly love and respect to others. He was well known for his kindness, affection, compassion, and concern for those around him.

Today we are blessed to have a prophet who embodies charity. President Thomas S. Monson is an example to us and to the world. He wears the mantle of charity. He is kind, compassionate, and generous, a true minister of the Lord Jesus Christ.

President Monson teaches: “Charity is having patience with someone who has let us down. It is resisting the impulse to become offended easily. It is accepting weaknesses and shortcomings. It is accepting people as they truly are. It is looking beyond physical appearances to attributes that will not dim through time. It is resisting the impulse to categorize others.”

When we have charity, we are willing to serve and help others when it is inconvenient and with no thought of recognition or reciprocation. We don’t wait to be assigned to help, because it becomes our very nature. As we choose to be kind, caring, generous, patient, accepting, forgiving, inclusive, and selfless, we discover we are abounding in charity.

Relief Society provides countless ways to serve others. One of the most important ways to practice charity is through visiting teaching. Through effective visiting teaching we have many opportunities to love, minister, and serve others. Expressing charity, or love, purifies and sanctifies our souls, helping us become more like the Savior.

I marvel as I witness the countless acts of charity performed daily by visiting teachers all over the world who selflessly minister to the needs of individual sisters and their families. To these faithful visiting teachers, I say, “Through those small acts of charity, you follow the Savior and you act as instruments in His hands as you help, care, lift, comfort, listen, encourage, nurture, teach, and strengthen the sisters under your care.” Let me share some brief examples of such ministry.

Rosa suffers from debilitating diabetes and other ailments. She joined the Church a few years ago. She is a single mother with an adolescent son. She frequently has to be hospitalized for a few days at a time. Her kind visiting teachers not only take her to the hospital, but they visit and comfort her at the hospital while also watching over her son at home and school. Her visiting teachers serve as her friends and family.

After the first few visits to a particular sister, Kathy discovered that this sister didn’t know how to read but wanted to learn. Kathy offered to help her even though she knew it would take time, patience, and constancy.

Emily is a young wife who was in search of the truth. Her husband, Michael, was less interested in religion. When Emily became ill and spent some time in the hospital, Cali, a Relief Society sister who is also her neighbor, took the family meals, watched their baby, cleaned the house, and arranged for Emily to receive a priesthood blessing. These acts of charity softened Michael’s heart. He decided to attend Church meetings and to meet with the missionaries. Emily and Michael were recently baptized.

“Charity never faileth. … Charity … is kind, … seeketh not her own, … beareth all things, endureth all things.”

President Henry B. Eyring said:

“The history of the Relief Society is filled with accounts of such remarkable selfless service. …

“This society is composed of women whose feelings of charity spring from hearts changed by qualifying for and by keeping covenants offered only in the Lord’s true Church. Their feelings of charity come from Him through His Atonement. Their acts of charity are guided by His example—and come out of gratitude for His infinite gift of mercy—and by the Holy Spirit, which He sends to accompany His servants on their missions of mercy. Because of that, they have done and are able to do uncommon things for others and to find joy even when their own unmet needs are great.”

Providing service and extending charity toward others helps us overcome our own difficulties and makes them seem less challenging.

I now return to the teachings of the Prophet Joseph to the sisters in the early days of the Restoration. Urging the practices of charity and benevolence, he said: “If you live up to these principles, how great and glorious will be your reward in the celestial kingdom! If you live up to your privileges, the angels cannot be restrained from being your associates.”

Like in the early days in Nauvoo, where the sisters went about seeking and helping those in need, so it is today. Sisters in the kingdom are great pillars of spiritual strength, compassionate service, and devotion. Dedicated visiting teachers visit and care for one another. They follow the Savior’s example and do as He did.

All women in Relief Society can be filled with love, knowing that their small acts of charity have a healing power for others and for themselves. They come to know with certainty that charity is the pure love of Christ and never faileth.

When you read the Relief Society history, it will inspire you to discover that this important gospel principle is a thread woven through the whole book.

I conclude with an invitation to all the women in the Church to plead for a desire to be filled with the gift of charity, the pure love of Christ. Use all your resources to do good, bringing relief and salvation to those around you, including your own family. The Lord will crown your efforts with success.

May our knowledge of the great love that the Father and the Son have for us, and our faith and gratitude for the Atonement, move us to develop and exercise charity toward all those around us. This is my prayer in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

On the school bus, I kept thinking about Alice. * I was hoping that she wouldn’t be there that day. Then my parents couldn’t blame me for not inviting her. You see, Alice’s clothes were old and worn, her hair was seldom combed, and she was very quiet. She always played by herself at recess, and as far as I could see, she had no friends. In other words, I didn’t see why I needed to invite her to my party.

When I got to school, much to my dismay, Alice was there. I handed out the invitations, and everyone was very excited.

The morning of my birthday party, my parents asked, “Will Alice be coming?” I was surprised! I didn’t think that they even knew Alice.

“I don’t know if she’s coming,” I answered. My father suggested that we take a ride over to her house to see. My father is a very kind man, but he is also very firm. If he suggests that we do something, we do it.

Alice’s mother answered the door, and my father told her why we were there. “She won’t be coming,” Alice’s mother said. “She doesn’t have a present for your daughter. You see, my husband lost his job and …”

My father gestured that he understood, then said, “We would still like Alice to come. It doesn’t matter if she has a present or not.”

No present? I thought. What kind of a birthday party is that? But, of course, I just stood there and smiled.

When we were in the car again, my father told me that after he took me home he was coming back to take Alice to the store to buy a present for her to give to me.

This isn’t turning out so bad after all! I thought.

I can’t remember what presents I got that day, but I do remember that Alice seemed to laugh a lot and was actually quite fun to be with. When it was time to take her home, I got in the front seat and she got in the backseat. I turned around to tell her something, and next to her was the prettiest doll I had ever seen. In my eight-year-old mind, I knew that my father had bought that doll for Alice. I felt like my heart grew two sizes that day.

My father is not a rocket scientist. He has never invented anything or found a cure for a disease. But that day he did something just as important—he showed charity to a little girl. And to another little girl, he showed what it means to be Christlike.

Jackie Johansen, “A Father’s Charity”, Friend, Feb. 1997, 40

In my office hangs a wonderful painting depicting Jesus with Mary and Martha. Every day as I am greeted by this piece, I reflect on our challenges as women. Sister Hughes, Sister Pingree, and I felt inspired to use the account of Mary and Martha as the theme for our meeting. The Lord taught, one thing is needful: choose that good part. That is what we are going to talk about tonight, choosing that good part.

Martha lived in the small village of Bethany, where she “received [Jesus] into her house. And she had a sister called Mary, which also sat at Jesus’ feet and heard his word.” Both women loved the Lord. And “Jesus loved Martha, and [Mary].” In fact, their relationship breached convention, for at that time women were not usually able to discuss the gospel with men.

On one occasion Martha was making dinner and, as the scripture says, “was cumbered about much serving.” In other words, she was stressed out!

Mary, on the other hand, “sat at Jesus’ feet, and heard his word,” while Martha became increasingly upset that no one was helping her. Does that sound familiar? Do you think she was thinking, “Why is Mary sitting there while I’m sweating over this stove?” So Martha turned to Jesus and said, “Lord, dost thou not care that my sister hath left me to serve alone? bid her therefore that she help me.”

The Lord’s gentle invitation to Martha may have surprised her. “Martha, Martha, thou art careful and troubled about many things: But one thing is needful: and Mary hath chosen that good part, which shall not be taken away from her.”

The Savior’s response strikingly clarified what mattered most. On that evening in Martha’s home, the good part was not in the kitchen; it was at the Lord’s feet. Dinner could wait.

Like Mary, I hunger to feast at the Savior’s feet, while, like Martha, I need to somehow find the laundry room floor, empty my in-box, and serve my husband something other than cold pizza. I have 15 grandchildren whose tender little spirits and daily challenges I want to better understand, yet I also have a slightly demanding Church calling! I don’t have lots of time. Like all of you, I have to choose. We all are trying to choose the good part which cannot be taken from us, to balance the spiritual and the temporal in our lives. Wouldn’t it be easy if we were choosing between visiting teaching or robbing a bank? Instead, our choices are often more subtle. We must choose between many worthy options.

Mary and Martha are you and me; they are every sister in Relief Society. These two loved the Lord and wanted to show that love. On this occasion, it seems to me that Mary expressed her love by hearing His word, while Martha expressed hers by serving Him.

Martha thought she was doing right and that her sister should be helping her.

I don’t believe the Lord was saying there are Marthas and there are Marys. Jesus did not dismiss Martha’s concern, but instead redirected her focus by saying choose “that good part.” And what is that? The prophet Lehi taught that we “should look to the great Mediator, and hearken unto his great commandments; and be faithful unto his words, and choose eternal life, according to the will of his Holy Spirit.”

The one thing that is needful is to choose eternal life. We choose daily. As we seek, listen, and follow the Lord, we are encircled in the arms of His love—a love that is pure.

Mormon teaches us that “charity is the pure love of Christ, and it endureth forever.” The pure love of Christ. Let’s look at that. What does this phrase mean? We find part of the answer in Joshua: “Take diligent heed … to love the Lord your God … and to serve him with all your heart and with all your soul.” Charity is our love for the Lord, shown through our acts of service, patience, compassion, and understanding for one another.

Additional insight into the pure love of Christ is found in Ether: “[Jesus has] loved the world, even unto the laying down of [His] life for the world, that [He might] take it again to prepare a place for the children of men. And now I know that this love which [He has] for the children of men is charity.” Charity is also the Lord’s love for us, shown through His acts of service, patience, compassion, and understanding.

The “pure love of Christ” refers not only to our love for the Savior but to His love for each of us.

The story of Mary and Martha also illustrates how the gift of charity can be diminished. Within Martha’s request for assistance was an unspoken but clear judgment: “I am right; she is wrong.”

Do we judge one another? Do we criticize each other for individual choices, thinking we know better, when in fact we rarely understand another’s unique circumstance or individual inspiration? Have we ever said, “She works outside the home.” Or, “Her son didn’t serve a mission.” Or, “She’s too old for a calling.” Or, “She can’t—she’s single.” Such judgments, and so many others like them, rob us of the good part, that pure love of Christ.

We also lose sight of that good part when we compare ourselves to others. Her hair is cuter, my legs are fatter, her children are more talented, or her garden’s more productive—sisters, you know the drill. We just can’t do that. We cannot allow ourselves to feel inadequate by focusing on who we aren’t instead of on who we are! We are all sisters in Relief Society. We simply cannot criticize, gossip, or judge and keep the pure love of Christ. Can’t you hear the Lord’s sweet injunction: “Martha, Martha … ?”

Elder Marvin J. Ashton beautifully observed: “Perhaps the greatest charity comes when we are kind to each other, when we don’t judge or categorize someone else, when we simply give each other the benefit of the doubt or remain quiet. Charity is accepting someone’s differences, weaknesses, and shortcomings; having patience with someone who has let us down; or resisting the impulse to become offended when someone doesn’t handle something the way we might have hoped. Charity is refusing to take advantage of another’s weakness and being willing to forgive someone who has hurt us. Charity is expecting the best of each other.”

In exercising charity, we come to know a sister’s heart. When we know a sister’s heart, we are different. We won’t judge her. We will simply love her. I invite you to not only love each other more but love each other better. As we do this we will come to know with a surety that “charity never faileth.”

As seemed the case with Martha, one of the first things to go when I become cumbered about and troubled is my charitable attitude. Is this true for you?

I’ve learned that the best way to reclaim charity is to uncumber myself and simply love and serve the Lord. How do we do that? We start each day kneeling in prayer to our Father in Heaven, we hear His words through daily scripture study, and we follow the guidance we receive. We put Christ first, restoring charity’s circular love. “We love him, because he first loved us.” This is the reciprocating cycle of charity. Sisters, “charity never faileth.”

When I received this calling, I desired with all my heart to have enough charity to genuinely love every single sister in the Church. I desired that my increased love would help you feel the love of the Lord in your life. I prayed to my Heavenly Father “with all the energy of [my] heart, [to be] filled with this love, which he hath bestowed upon all who are true followers of his Son, Jesus Christ.”

Last December in Sunday School, our teacher suggested that at tithing settlement time we give the Lord a private accounting of our study and application of a gospel principle. I had the overwhelming feeling that my study should focus on charity. This prompting was confirmed in sacrament meeting, and I knew I had received direction from the Lord.

In associating with many of you, I have experienced overwhelming love for you and your goodness. I have been humbled by your sustaining support. My desires to serve you have deepened. These are the feelings of charity; these are answers to my prayers; these are some of the sweetest moments of my calling. I must have made some progress, because some of my children are asking why I’ve been so nice lately. This December I will give my Father in Heaven an accounting of my efforts to understand and exercise charity.

Just as He did with Mary and Martha, the Lord will show us that good part which shall not be taken from us. He will grant us charity, that pure love of Christ, for “charity never faileth.”

Dear sisters, one thing is needful, to follow Him each day. Choose ye therefore Christ the Lord. Choose to feast upon His word. Choose to trust in Him above. Choose to wait upon His love. Choose to give Him all your heart. Choose ye therefore that good part.

For this I pray, in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

Bonnie D. Parkin, “Choosing Charity: That Good Part”, Liahona, Nov. 2003, 104–6

Today I would like to speak about the answer to this question.

In the first century a.d., members of the growing Church in Corinth were enthusiastic about the gospel. Almost all were recent converts to the Church. Many were attracted to it through the preaching of the Apostle Paul and others.

But the Saints at Corinth were also contentious. They argued amongst themselves. Some felt superior to others. They took each other to court.

When Paul heard this, feeling a sense of frustration, he wrote them a letter, pleading with them to become more unified. He answered many of the questions they had been arguing about. Then, toward the end, he told them that he wanted to show them “a more excellent way.”

Do you remember the words he wrote next?

“Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, and have not charity,” he told them, “I am become as sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal.”

Paul’s message to this new body of Saints was simple and direct: Nothing you do makes much of a difference if you do not have charity. You can speak with tongues, have the gift of prophecy, understand all mysteries, and possess all knowledge; even if you have the faith to move mountains, without charity it won’t profit you at all.

“Charity is the pure love of Christ.” The Savior exemplified that love and taught it even as He was tormented by those who despised and hated Him.

On one occasion the Pharisees tried to trap Jesus by asking Him a seemingly impossible question: “Master,” they asked, “which is the great commandment in the law?”

The Pharisees had debated this question extensively and had identified more than 600 commandments. If prioritizing them was such a difficult task for scholars, certainly they thought the question would be impossible for this son of a carpenter from Galilee.

But when the Pharisees heard His answer, they must have been troubled, for it pointed to their great weakness. He replied:

“Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind.

“This is the first and great commandment.

“And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.

“On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets.”

Since that day, this inspired pronouncement has been repeated through many generations. Now, for us, the measure of our love is the measure of the greatness of our souls.

The scriptures tell us that “if any man love God, the same is known of him.” What a wonderful promise—to be known of Him. It makes the spirit soar to think that the Creator of heaven and earth could know us and love us with a pure, eternal love.

In 1840 the Prophet Joseph sent an epistle to the Twelve wherein he taught that “love is one of the chief characteristics of Deity, and ought to be manifested by those who aspire to be the sons of God. A man filled with the love of God, is not content with blessing his family alone, but ranges through the whole world, anxious to bless the whole human race.”

As we reach out in love to those around us, we fulfill the other half of the great commandment to “love thy neighbour as thyself.”

Both commandments are necessary, for as we bear one another’s burdens, we fulfill the law of Christ.

Love is the beginning, the middle, and the end of the pathway of discipleship. It comforts, counsels, cures, and consoles. It leads us through valleys of darkness and through the veil of death. In the end love leads us to the glory and grandeur of eternal life.

For me, the Prophet Joseph Smith has always exemplified the pure love of Christ. Many asked why he gained so many followers and retained them. His answer: “It is because I possess the principle of love.”

The story is told of a 14-year-old boy who had come to Nauvoo in search of his brother who lived near there. The young boy had arrived in winter with no money and no friends. When he inquired about his brother, the boy was taken to a large house that looked like a hotel. There he met a man who said, “Come in, son, we’ll take care of you.”

The boy accepted and was brought into the house, where he was fed, warmed, and was given a bed to sleep in.

The next day it was bitter cold, but in spite of that, the boy prepared himself to walk the eight miles to where his brother was staying.

When the man of the house saw this, he told the young boy to stay for a while. He said there would be a team coming soon and that he could ride back with them.

When the boy protested, saying that he had no money, the man told him not to worry about that, that they would take care of him.

Later the boy learned that the man of the house was none other than Joseph Smith, the Mormon prophet. This boy remembered this act of charity for the rest of his life.

In a recent message of the Mormon Tabernacle Choir’s Music and the Spoken Word, a story was told about an elderly man and woman who had been married for many decades. Because the wife was slowly losing her sight, she could no longer take care of herself the way she had done for so many years. Without being asked, the husband began to paint her fingernails for her.

“He knew that she could see her fingernails when she held them close to her eyes, at just the right angle, and they made her smile. He liked to see her happy, so he kept painting her nails for more than five years before she passed away.”

That is an example of the pure love of Christ. Sometimes the greatest love is not found in the dramatic scenes that poets and writers immortalize. Often, the greatest manifestations of love are the simple acts of kindness and caring we extend to those we meet along the path of life.

True love lasts forever. It is eternally patient and forgiving. It believes, hopes, and endures all things. That is the love our Heavenly Father bears for us.

We all yearn to experience love like this. Even when we make mistakes, we hope others will love us in spite of our shortcomings—even if we don’t deserve it.

Oh, it is wonderful to know that our Heavenly Father loves us—even with all our flaws! His love is such that even should we give up on ourselves, He never will.

We see ourselves in terms of yesterday and today. Our Heavenly Father sees us in terms of forever. Although we might settle for less, Heavenly Father won’t, for He sees us as the glorious beings we are capable of becoming.

The gospel of Jesus Christ is a gospel of transformation. It takes us as men and women of the earth and refines us into men and women for the eternities.

The means of this refinement is our Christlike love. There is no pain it cannot soften, no bitterness it cannot remove, no hatred it cannot alter. The Greek playwright Sophocles wrote: “One word frees us of all the weight and pain of life: That word is love.”

The most cherished and sacred moments of our lives are those filled with the spirit of love. The greater the measure of our love, the greater is our joy. In the end, the development of such love is the true measure of success in life.

Do you love the Lord?

Spend time with Him. Meditate on His words. Take His yoke upon you. Seek to understand and obey, because “this is the love of God, that we keep his commandments.” When we love the Lord, obedience ceases to be a burden. Obedience becomes a delight. When we love the Lord, we seek less for things that benefit us and turn our hearts toward things that will bless and uplift others.

As our love for the Lord deepens, our minds and hearts become purified. We experience a “mighty change in … our hearts, that we have no more disposition to do evil, but to do good continually.”

Brethren and sisters, as you prayerfully consider what you can do to increase harmony, spirituality, and build up the kingdom of God, consider your sacred duty to teach others to love the Lord and their fellowman. This is the central object of our existence. Without charity—or the pure love of Christ—whatever else we accomplish matters little. With it, all else becomes vibrant and alive.

When we inspire and teach others to fill their hearts with love, obedience flows from the inside out in voluntary acts of self-sacrifice and service. Yes, those who go home teaching out of duty, for example, may fulfill their obligation. But those who home teach out of genuine love for the Lord and for their fellowman will likely approach that task with a very different attitude.

Returning to my original question, What quality defines us best as members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints? I would answer: we are a people who love the Lord with all our hearts, souls, and minds, and we love our neighbors as ourselves.

That is our signature as a people. It is like a beacon to the world, signaling whose disciples we are.

At the final day the Savior will not ask about the nature of our callings. He will not inquire about our material possessions or fame. He will ask if we ministered to the sick, gave food and drink to the hungry, visited those in prison, or gave succor to the weak. When we reach out to assist the least of Heavenly Father’s children, we do it unto Him. That is the essence of the gospel of Jesus Christ.

If we wish to learn truly how to love, all we need to do is reflect on the life of our Savior. When we partake of the sacramental emblems, we are reminded of the greatest example of love in all the world’s history. “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son.”

The Savior’s love for us was so great that it caused “even God, the greatest of all, to tremble because of pain, and to bleed at every pore.”

Because the Savior laid down His life for us, we have a brightness of hope, a confidence and security that when we pass from this worldly existence, we will live again with Him. Through the Atonement of Jesus Christ, we can be cleansed of sin and stand as partakers of the gift of our Almighty Father. Then we will know the glory that God “hath prepared for them that love him.”

This is the transforming power of charity.

When Jesus gave His disciples a new commandment to “love one another; as I have loved you,” He gave to them the grand key to happiness in this life and glory in the next.

Love is the greatest of all the commandments—all others hang upon it. It is our focus as followers of the living Christ. It is the one trait that, if developed, will most improve our lives.

I bear testimony that God lives. His love is infinite and eternal. It extends to all of His children. Because He loves us, He has provided prophets and apostles to guide us in our time. He has given us the Holy Ghost, who teaches, comforts, and inspires.

He has given us His scriptures. And I am grateful beyond description that He has given to each of us a heart capable of experiencing the pure love of Christ.

I pray that our hearts may be filled with that love and that we may reach out to our Heavenly Father and to others with new vision and new faith. I testify that as we do so, we will discover a greater richness in life. In the sacred name of Jesus Christ, amen.

—Teachings of Ezra Taft Benson, p.275

—President Howard W. Hunter, “A More Excellent Way”, General Conference, April 1992

—President Howard W. Hunter, “A More Excellent Way”, General Conference, April 1992

—Elder M. Russell Ballard, “The Joy Of Hope Fulfilled”, General Conference, October 1992

—Elder C. Max Caldwell, Love Of Christ, General Conference, October 1992

Bonnie D. Parkin

Teachings of Presidents of the Church: Heber J. Grant, 147