The other side of this coin, of course, is represented by what Alma told his wayward son, Corianton, who had gone after the Lamanite harlot Isabel. He said to his son: “Know ye not, … that these things are an abomination in the sight of the Lord; yea, most abominable above all sins save it be the shedding of innocent blood or denying the Holy Ghost?” (Alma 39:5).

Why the law of chastity?

Sometimes we give as reasons for the law of chastity the risk of pregnancy or abortion, the possibility of an unwanted or embarrassing marriage, or the chance of a terrible venereal disease. With adultery, we talk about the damage of destroying an existing marriage or family. As serious as these things are, I’m not sure they are the fundamental reason for the Lord’s having placed this commandment ahead of armed robbery and fraud in the seriousness of sins.

Think of it—unchastity is second only to murder. Perhaps there is a common element in those two things—unchastity and murder. Both have to do with life, which touches upon the highest of divine powers. Murder involves the wrongful taking of life; sexual transgression may involve the wrongful giving of life, or the wrongful tampering with the sacred fountains of life-giving power.

I have been around enough to know that this is not the first time you have ever heard this subject mentioned. But I have also been around enough to know that no matter what you have heard and no matter how often, today we live in a world so completely soaked through with tragically wrong and evil ideas about sex that you must be warned—in love and kindness, but warned—lest the moral sleeping sickness that is overcoming the whole world calm you into deadly slumber.

Nuclear-powered sin

It’s now simply a fact that most of those who write and most of those who produce today’s movies, TV programs, and popular music, as well as those who set the editorial policies of many magazines, believe that sex outside of marriage is really quite harmless. On this particular subject of sexual morality, I honestly believe our society is within the grip of the evil one.

Can you see why the Brethren tell us to stay away from X- and R-rated movies? Can you see why they plead with us to avoid drugs, alcohol, vulgar music, and the other products of the carnal environment that now surrounds us almost as water surrounds the fish of the sea? These aren’t trivial things. If the H-bomb symbolizes our age, we are playing now not just with fire, but with nuclear power. The prince of darkness has dragged out the heavy artillery.

The highway to love

Let me talk now, on the other hand, about the more positive aspects of the law of chastity, because that part of the law is fundamental and important. President Packer said:

“Oh, youth, the requirements of the Church are the highway to love, with guardrails securely in place, with help along the way. How foolish is the youth who feels the Church is a fence around love to keep him out. How fortunate is the young person who follows the standards of the Church, even if just from sheer obedience or habit, for he will find rapture and a joy fulfilled.”

Properly understood, then, the scriptures counsel us to be virtuous not because romantic love is bad, but precisely because romantic love is so good. It is not only good; it is pure, precious, even sacred and holy. For that reason, one of Satan’s cheapest and dirtiest tricks is to make profane that which is sacred.

Eight steps to true love

May I suggest now eight brief, practical steps for those who would one day be true sweethearts, based on a foundation of righteous living.

1. Have reverence for the human body and the life-giving powers of that body. Your body is a temple. It is sacred and holy. It is also the dwelling place of the seeds of human life, the nurturing of which, with your chosen companion, within the bounds set by God himself, is lovely, of good report, and praiseworthy (see A of F 1:13).

2. During the time of courtship, please be emotionally honest in the expression of affection. Sometimes you are not as careful as you might be about when, how, and to whom you express your feelings of affection. You must realize that the desire to express affection can be motivated by other things than true love.

In short, save your kisses—you might need them someday.

3. Be friends first and sweethearts second. University professor Lowell Bennion once said that relationships between young men and young women should be built like a pyramid. The base of the pyramid is friendship. And the ascending layers are built of things like time, understanding, respect, and restraint. Right at the top of the pyramid is a glittering little mystery called romance.

Now, you don’t have to be very smart to know that a pyramid won’t stand up very long if you stand it on its point instead of its base. In other words, be friends first and sweethearts later, not the other way around. Otherwise, people who think they are sweethearts may discover they can’t be very good friends, and by then it may be too late.

4. Develop the power of self-discipline and self-restraint. Please remember that nobody ever fell off a cliff who never went near one. You’ve got to be like Joseph, not like David. When Potiphar’s wife tried to seduce him, the scripture says, Joseph “fled, and got him out” (Gen. 39:12). Joseph knew that it is wiser to avoid temptation than to resist it.

In your courtships, even when you feel there is a growing foundation of true love, show your profound respect for that love and the possibilities of your life together by restraining your passions. Please don’t be deceived by the false notion that anything short of the sex act itself is acceptable conduct. That is a lie, not only because one step overpoweringly leads to another, but also because the handling of another’s body is in an important sense part of the sexual act that is kept holy by the sanctuary of chastity.

If ever you are in doubt about where the line is between love and lust, draw the line toward the side of love.

5. Live for the presence of the Holy Spirit, that you may have it as your constant guide. Don’t date someone you already know you would not ever want to marry. If you should fall in love with someone you shouldn’t marry, you make it more difficult for the Lord to guide you away from that person after you are already emotionally committed. It is difficult enough to tune your spiritual receiver to the whisperings of heaven without jamming up the channel with the loud thunder of romantic emotion.

The key to spiritual guidance is found in one word: worthiness. Those who garnish their thoughts with virtue have the Spirit and have confidence in God’s presence (see D&C 121:45–46). Those who have lust in their hearts can’t have the Spirit (see D&C 63:16–17).

6. Avoid the habit of feeling sorry for yourself, and don’t worry excessively about those times when you feel socially unsuccessful. Everybody in the world doesn’t have to marry you—it only takes one. Remember: “Worry not that you are not well known. Seek to be worth knowing.”

There are times when we wonder if the Lord loves us; we wonder if other people love us. And so we mistakenly seek the symbols of success—whether that is being popular or being rich or being famous within our own sphere. You might be tempted to let someone take improper liberties with you, or you may indulge yourself in some practice that seems to bring temporary relief but only makes you feel worse in the long run.

Ultimately, however, only the Lord’s approval of our lives really matters. If you seek to be worth knowing and seek to do His will, all the rest will take care of itself. Never forget that all things work together for good to them who love God (see Rom. 8:28).

7. Avoid at all costs, no matter what the circumstances, abortion and homosexuality. As serious as is fornication or adultery, you must understand that abortion and homosexuality are equally wrong and may be worse. Even persons who only assist others, much less pressure them, to have an abortion are in jeopardy of being denied the privilege of missionary service. They may also be called upon to face a Church disciplinary council, at the peril of their membership in the Church.

8. If, through some unfortunate experience in your past, you have committed a moral transgression of this kind, there is a way by which you may receive full forgiveness. There is no more glorious language in all scripture than the words of Isaiah, speaking as if it were by the voice of the Lord himself:

“Though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they be red like crimson, they shall be as wool.

“If ye be willing and obedient, ye shall eat the good of the land” (Isa. 1:18–19).

If your transgressions are of the serious kind, you will need to see your bishop and voluntarily offer a full and complete confession. As frightening as that experience may seem to you, by this means you will find purpose and a peace of mind more hopeful and uplifting than you can now imagine.

Our ultimate happiness

For all that I have said by way of warning about the social conditions of the day or the limits we must place on ourselves, I’d like you to remember that the teachings of the gospel about romantic love are full of hope and peace and joy of the most uplifting and everlasting kind.

I testify to you with all my heart that the commandments of God are designed for our ultimate happiness, and that being sweethearts in the way the Lord intended it is worth waiting for.

Latter-day Saints can reply that there most certainly is! The gospel gives us a clear and wholesome perspective on chastity. That is especially obvious when gospel teachings are contrasted with teachings of the secular world.

For instance, the religions of man have taught that the physical body is evil and that the spirit must struggle to overcome it and be liberated from it. But the restored gospel says quite the opposite: the body is a blessing. We came to earth to obtain a body and to make it a part of us as a means for further progress. Without it we cannot receive a fulness of joy (see D&C 93:33–35). Without it we will not be liberated, but will be in bondage (see D&C 138:50). The gospel teaches that we are exalted with our bodies, not in spite of them.

Paul seemed to be suggesting the same thing when he said, “He that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body” (1 Cor. 6:18; italics added).

A second false teaching is that the intimate experiences of marriage are a necessary evil. Yet such experiences when enjoyed in accord with God’s commandments and the Spirit can enrich one’s life and enliven the soul. President Kimball has referred to conjugal relationships in marriage as “inherently good” (“The Lord’s Plan for Men and Women,” International Magazines, April 1976 (Europe—March 1976), paragraph 47). “Sex can be a wonderful servant in the fostering of love, companionship, happiness” (Spencer W. Kimball quoting Billy Graham, “Guidelines to Carry Forth the Work of God in Cleanliness,” International Magazines, August 1974, paragraph 10 from the end).

A third false teaching is that man is basically evil simply because of his physical nature. The scriptures, however, do not support this. They teach that people become “carnal, sensual, and devilish” only as they begin to follow Satan (see Moses 5:15 and D&C 20:20).

King Benjamin makes this clear. “Man is an enemy to God.” he said, “unless he yields to the enticings of the Holy Spirit” (Mosiah 3:19; italics added).

The truth is that chastity is a godly virtue, and “the natural man receiveth not the things of the Spirit of God: they are foolishness unto him: neither can he know them, because they are spiritually discerned” (1 Cor. 2:14). Consequently, only those who are spiritual can understand spiritual things. Thus the world will never fully understand why we live the law of chastity. But Latter-day Saints can understand and appreciate it.

Builds personal strength and understanding.

President David O. McKay said that a necessary ingredient of spirituality is “a consciousness of victory over self” (Improvement Era, December 1969, p. 31). Two great blessings that can come from chastity are self-mastery and self-knowledge. The letter of the law of chastity is to have sexual experiences only with one’s spouse, the man or woman with whom legal marriage covenants have been made. But the spirit of this law encompasses far more. It requires that we keep sacred and appropriate all of our sexual desires—and all related behaviors. To have physical desires is not evil. But to dwell upon them is evil. This is lust—the mental pursuit of anything that would be spiritually damaging.

Lust causes one to draw his attention away from that which is spiritually productive and fulfilling—to focus upon nonfulfilling and spiritually damaging thoughts and actions. It is a mental narcotic that draws us away from our long-range goals. It can lead us to sacrifice all that is valuable for a momentary experience and leave us with nothing but pain and sorrow and confusion.

But what if a person, because of previous conditioning, has immoral desires? The same principle applies: the presence of desire is not an indication of sin. The question is, what does one do with the desire? Is it allowed to inflame, or is it recognized and then forthrightly directed to leave one’s mind along with other feelings and thoughts that one does not wish to dwell upon? President Kimball has informed us that even individuals tempted with homosexual or other abnormal tendencies can, with patience, commitment, and faith, control such desires and permit normal desires to awaken and take precedence over the abnormal. As a counselor and a bishop, I have seen this happen in a number of lives.

A conscious effort to develop self-mastery can help us to understand ourselves. As I define my behavior, I see more clearly the kind of person I am right now. The degree to which I keep my chastity covenant also generally reflects how strong or weak I am in other areas of my life, and indicates to me how committed to celestial ideals I really am. On the other hand, instead of confronting and working out confusing feelings such as loneliness or inadequacy, Satan would have a person try to flee from them through immorality. But such escapes are only temporary, and so the person seeks to flee again and again, forever unsuccessfully. As a result, Satan leads one into further confusion through unchastity.

Chastity requires discipline. In developing discipline in my own life I have become aware of my uniqueness. I’ve discovered that I need to avoid certain kinds of movies, certain literature, certain situations, and so on. Although others claim they cause them no problems, they may cause problems for me. Sometimes I have rationalized that since others can do these things with no apparent harm, I should be able to also. But as a result of such rationalization I have had more thoughts to control, more mental images to suppress. I wanted to control a fire, and found I was adding more fuel. This more complete appreciation of chastity has required me to understand and work with my own personal spiritual chemistry. I have had to decide, with the help of the Spirit, where I must draw the line.

The most valuable kind of self-knowledge is not just stored in our minds, but is felt deep within our souls through confronting the many stimuli that television, newspapers, radio, etc. and life bombard us with. This self-knowledge requires continued faith and commitment in the face of setbacks, strength that comes from pulling ourselves free from the tentacles of temptation. It feels good to be in control!

In an important sense, then, chastity is the disciplining of our sexual desires and behaviors and the gaining of self-understanding and control of self in all areas related to sexuality.

Builds enduring relationships.

Chastity is also a great force in building the equality of our personal relationships. During the important courtship period, chaste couples spend their time working on understanding and communicating and wisely assessing their thoughts about each other, instead of fleeing reality by indulging in improper intimacies. Chastity frees the couple to work on building a potentially eternal companionship. It brings a proper perspective to a very compelling power. The world makes sex all-important. Chastity helps us to see it as one of many important facets of marriage.

The world also tells us that our primary concern with desire should be personal gratification. This can lead to a relationship based upon selfishness. The emphasis is on getting, not giving.

But chastity places spiritual needs above gratification; it places the emphasis on giving, not on getting. It requires personal restraint out of love for one’s companion. Alma counseled his son to “bridle all your passions, that ye may be filled with love” (Alma 38:12).

President Kimball has explained that the sexual experience has two purposes: bringing children into the world and expressing “that kind of love between a man and wife that makes for true oneness” (“Guidelines to Carry Forth the Work of God in Cleanliness,” International Magazines, August 1974, paragraph 11 to the end). He has also said that “we know of no directive from the Lord that proper sexual experience between husbands and wives need to be limited totally to the procreation of children, but we find much evidence from Adam until now that no provision was ever made by the Lord for indiscriminate sex” (“The Lord’s Plan for Men and Women,” International Magazines, April 1976 [Europe—March 1976], paragraph 24 from the end).

These two purposes give us guidelines about how we can keep these powers sacred and holy and within the bounds the Lord has established. Within marriage an attitude that totally ignores the needs and sensitivities of one’s spouse would violate this sacred purpose. Also, solitary tampering with these powers perverts this sacred design. It can condition one to focus on one’s own needs, inflame lust, and shrink the capacity to overcome. It focuses again on getting rather than giving. It should be clear that a couple who are chaste before marriage probably have developed sound attitudes for this relationship after marriage.

The chaste couple is concerned about strengthening each other. Their feelings of responsibility prevent them from doing anything that would weaken or tempt each other. Modesty in speech and dress are as much for the protection of others and one’s partner as for one’s self.

This concern goes far beyond the physical relationship. When a person is chaste and true in all ways, he becomes part of an ever stronger, ever richer relationship. Chastity not only demonstrates love for one’s companion, but also for one’s children who can be born under temple covenants and enjoy wholesome examples in an eternal family.

Builds a richer relationship with God.

President McKay said that “the pathway to God leads through the heart of man.” Our communion with God is powerfully affected by our relations with others. And, conversely, our relations with others require divine guidance in order to become mature and eternal.

Love is the most divine attribute we can develop. But if we pursue acts of selfishness we make it difficult for the Holy Ghost to attend us. As we deny his influence, our relationship with God deteriorates, and feelings of insecurity, irritation, and self-centeredness arise. Then, because we lack one of the great sustaining, positive forces in our lives—the Spirit of the Lord—we become trapped in our doubts and fears, we make demands for reassurance that our partners are incapable of meeting, and through the whole process we become further insensitive to the needs of those around us, including our partner. Nothing can destroy a relationship faster than this kind of atmosphere.

Chastity, on the other hand, permits the Holy Ghost to influence us, and enhances trust, which is the basis for any enduring relationship. Through our love for others, we can recognize and understand our love for our Heavenly Father and his Son, Jesus Christ. And this is the most important relationship of all (see D&C 132:24).

To fully give ourselves to the Lord, we must first have control of ourselves. Discipleship requires discipline. Before one is ready to live the law of consecration, wherein he gives his all to the Lord, he must live the law of chastity; to live the law of chastity, he must apply the laws of sacrifice and obedience. As one does this, his confidence will “wax strong in the presence of God” (D&C 121:45), and he will “receive the pleasing word of God, and feast upon his love” (Jacob 3:2). The joy, the peace, and the power that this generates are hard to describe. Of this experience President McKay said, “To feel one’s faculties unfolding and truth expanding in the soul is one of life’s sublimest experiences” (Improvement Era, Dec. 1969, p. 31).

We can never fully know and love God unless we live the kind of life he lives. When I was younger, I was sometimes critical of some Church leaders and the decisions they made. Since then I have been a bishop, and now I see things in a very different perspective. I am less tempted to criticize, because I am more aware of the problems and feelings of a bishop. In the same way, as we become godlike, we begin to understand God better. Our relationship with him becomes richer. Mosiah tells us that as we serve the Lord we will come closer to “the thoughts and intents of his heart” (Mosiah 5:13). When we live as he lives, we learn to care as he cares and feel as he feels. Chastity, as much as any other gospel principle, helps us to know him because it promotes essential godly qualities such as understanding, self-mastery, love, and compassion.

When I become tired in my struggles against temptation, I recall that Jesus “was in all points tempted like as we are, yet without sin” (Heb. 4:15). He was blessed with a physical body which he learned to master. Like us, he had the capacity for spiritual fatigue (see D&C 19:18). Certainly Satan tried in every way to make him sin. So, no matter how hard it is for me, I know that Jesus climbed a similar path many years ago. Because he understands fully our mortal condition, he is able to help and strengthen us along the way.

We can be eternally grateful that when we confess and forsake our sins he will remember them no more (see D&C 58:42–43). Throughout the eternities they cannot have a hold upon us because of the Savior’s atoning sacrifice. What a joy to know that you and I can become clean—totally clean—from our own sins!

As we see the vital role sexuality plays in our total mortal development, we can gain some understanding of why the Lord, in his love for us, gave us the law of chastity.

“How glorious is he who lives the chaste life. He walks unfearful. … He is honored and respected. … He is loved by the Lord, for he stands without blemish. The exaltations of eternities await his coming.”

Steve Gilliland, “Chastity—A Principle of Power”, Liahona, Dec. 1980, 16

It’s better to prepare and prevent.

In this dispensation the Lord reiterated the commandment given at Sinai when He said, “Thou shalt not … commit adultery, … nor do anything like unto it” (D&C 59:6, emphasis added). From the beginning of time, the Lord has set a clear and unmistakable standard of sexual purity. It always has been, it is now, and it always will be the same. That standard is the law of chastity. It is the same for all—for men and women, for old and young, for rich and poor.

In the Book of Mormon, the prophet Jacob tells us that the Lord delights in the chastity of His children (see Jacob 2:28). Do you hear that, my brothers and sisters? The Lord is not just pleased when we are chaste; He delights in chastity. Mormon taught the same thing to his son Moroni when he wrote that chastity and virtue are “most dear and precious above all things” (Moro. 9:9).

My dear brothers and sisters, the law of chastity is a principle of eternal significance. We must not be swayed by the many voices of the world. We must listen to the voice of the Lord and then determine that we will set our feet irrevocably upon the path he has marked.

The world is already beginning to reap the consequences of their abandonment of any standards of morality. As just one example, recently the Secretary of the Department of Health and Human Services in the United States warned that if a cure for AIDS is not quickly found, it could become a worldwide epidemic that “will dwarf such earlier medical disasters as the Black Plague, smallpox and typhoid” (Salt Lake Tribune, 30 Jan. 1987, p. A-1).

As the world seeks solutions for this disease, which began primarily through widespread homosexuality, they look everywhere but to the law of the Lord. There are numerous agencies, both public and private, trying to combat AIDS. They seek increased funding for research. They sponsor programs of education and information. They write bills aimed at protecting the innocent from infection. They set up treatment programs for those who have already become infected. These are important and necessary programs, and we commend those efforts. But why is it we rarely hear anyone calling for a return to chastity, for a commitment to virtue and fidelity?

I recognize that most people fall into sexual sin in a misguided attempt to fulfill basic human needs. We all have a need to feel loved and worthwhile. We all seek to have joy and happiness in our lives. Knowing this, Satan often lures people into immorality by playing on their basic needs. He promises pleasure, happiness, and fulfillment.

But this is, of course, a deception. As the writer of Proverbs says: “Whoso committeth adultery with a woman lacketh understanding: he that doeth it destroyeth his own soul” (Prov. 6:32). Samuel the Lamanite taught the same thing when he said, “Ye have sought for happiness in doing iniquity, which thing is contrary to the nature of … righteousness” (Hel. 13:38). Alma said it more simply: “Wickedness never was happiness” (Alma 41:10).

Do not be misled by Satan’s lies. There is no lasting happiness in immorality. There is no joy to be found in breaking the law of chastity. Just the opposite is true. There may be momentary pleasure. For a time it may seem like everything is wonderful. But quickly the relationship will sour. Guilt and shame set in. We become fearful that our sins will be discovered. We must sneak and hide, lie and cheat. Love begins to die. Bitterness, jealousy, anger, and even hate begin to grow. All of these are the natural results of sin and transgression.

On the other hand, when we obey the law of chastity and keep ourselves morally clean, we will experience the blessings of increased love and peace, greater trust and respect for our marital partners, deeper commitment to each other, and therefore a deep and significant sense of joy and happiness.

We must not be misled into thinking these sins are minor or that consequences are not that serious.

One of the most sobering statements about being chaste is that of Alma to his son Corianton: “Know ye not, my son,” he said, “that these things are an abomination in the sight of the Lord; yea, most abominable above all sins save it be the shedding of innocent blood or denying the Holy Ghost?” (Alma 39:5; emphasis added). Very few of us will ever be guilty of murder or of the sin against the Holy Ghost. But the law of chastity is frequently broken and yet it stands next to these other sins in seriousness in the eyes of the Lord.

My beloved brothers and sisters, are we living in accordance with these scriptures? Do we clearly understand the seriousness of sexual sins? Do we constantly stress the blessings that come from obedience to this law? I say again, as have all the prophets before me, there is one standard of virtue and chastity, and all are expected to adhere to it. What the Lord says unto one, he says unto all: “Ye must practise virtue and holiness before me continually” (D&C 46:33).

There is an old saying that states: It is better to prepare and prevent than it is to repair and repent. How true that is of the law of chastity. The first line of defense in keeping ourselves morally clean is to prepare ourselves to resist temptation and prevent ourselves from falling into sin.

For those who are pure and chaste, may I give six steps that are steps of preparation and prevention, steps that will insure that you never fall into this transgression:

1. Decide now to be chaste. The decision to be chaste and virtuous need only be made once. Make that decision now, and let it be so firm and with such deep commitment that it can never be shaken. Don’t wait until you are alone in a parked car or caught in a compromising situation to decide to be chaste. Decide now!

2. Control your thoughts. No one steps into immorality in an instant. The first seeds of immorality are always sown in the mind. When we allow our thoughts to linger on lewd or immoral things, the first step on the road to immorality has been taken. I especially warn you against the evils of pornography. Again and again we hear from those caught in deep sin that often the first step on their road to transgression began with pornographic materials. The Savior taught that even when a man looks upon a woman to lust after her, or in other words, when he lets his thoughts begin to get out of control, he has already committed adultery with her in his heart (see Matt. 5:28; D&C 63:16).

3. Always pray for the power to resist temptation. Temptation will come to all of us. It will take many forms and appear in many disguises, but the Lord has given us the key for resisting it. He said to the Prophet Joseph Smith: “Pray always, that you may come off conqueror; yea, that you may conquer Satan, and that you may escape the hands of the servants of Satan that do uphold his work” (D&C 10:5). It should be part of our daily prayers to ask the Lord for constant strength to resist temptation, especially temptations that involve the law of chastity.

4. If you are married, avoid flirtations of any kind. Sometimes we hear of a married man going to lunch with his secretary or other women in the office. Men and women who are married sometimes flirt and tease with members of the opposite sex. So-called harmless meetings are arranged, or inordinate amounts of time are spent together. In all of these cases, people rationalize by saying that these are natural expressions of friendship. But what may appear to be harmless teasing or simply having a little fun with someone of the opposite sex can easily lead to more serious involvement and eventual infidelity.

A good question to ask ourselves is this: Would my spouse be pleased if he or she knew I was doing this? Would a wife be pleased to know that her husband lunches alone with his secretary? Would a husband be pleased if he saw his wife flirting and being coy with another man? My beloved brothers and sisters, this is what Paul meant when he said: “Abstain from all appearance of evil” (1 Thes. 5:22).

5. If you are married, avoid being alone with members of the opposite sex wherever possible. Many of the tragedies of immorality begin when a man and woman are alone in the office, or at church, or driving in a car. At first there may be no intent or even thought of sin. But the circumstances provide a fertile seedbed for temptation. One thing leads to another, and very quickly tragedy may result. It is so much easier to avoid such circumstances from the start so that temptation gets no chance for nourishment.

6. For those who are single and dating, carefully plan positive and constructive activities so that you are not left to yourselves with nothing to do but share physical affection. Once again this is the principle of filling one’s life with positive activities so that the negative has no chance to thrive. When young people are left to themselves for long periods of time with no specific planned activities, often they turn to necking and petting to fill the empty hours.

But I realize that there may be some for whom the counsel to prepare and prevent is too late. You may already be deeply entangled in serious sin. If this is the case, there is no choice now but to repair your lives and repent of your sins. To you I would suggest five important things you can do to come back to a state of moral purity.

1. Flee immediately from any situation you are in that is either causing you to sin or that may cause you to sin. When Joseph of Egypt was entrapped by Potiphar’s wife alone in the house, it would have been easy for Joseph to have rationalized. After all, he had not encouraged her. After all, he was her servant. After all, it would hurt her feelings if he refused. Had Joseph stood there and rationalized, he could easily have fallen. There is a great lesson in how he did respond. The scripture says, “And he left his garment in her hand, and fled, and got him out” (Gen. 39:12, emphasis added).

He fled and got him out. My beloved brothers and sisters, if you are currently in a situation where your moral purity is being or could be compromised, follow Joseph’s example. Flee from it and get yourself out. You cannot linger in sin and expect to have success in repentance.

2. Plead with the Lord for the power to overcome. One of Satan’s most effective strategies with those whom he has lured into sin is to whisper in their ears that they are not worthy to pray. He will tell you that Heavenly Father is so displeased with you that He will never hear your prayers. This is a lie, and he says it to deceive us. The power of sin is great. If we are to extricate ourselves from it, especially serious sin, we must have a power greater than ourselves.

No one is more anxious to help you flee from sin than your Heavenly Father. Go to Him. Acknowledge your sin, confess your shame and your guilt, and then plead with Him for help. He has the power to help you triumph.

3. Let your priesthood leaders help you resolve the transgression and come back into full fellowship with the Lord. Certain sins are of such gravity that they put our standing in the Church in jeopardy. Sexual sins are among those of such seriousness (see D&C 42:24).

Full repentance of such sins requires that we not only confess our sins and resolve them with the Lord, but that we also do so with the Church. This is done through appropriate priesthood leaders. The bishops and stake presidents have been appointed by revelation to serve as watchmen over the Church and judges in Israel.

While only the Lord can forgive sins, the priesthood leaders play a critical role in the process of repentance. Even if we are disfellowshipped or excommunicated, it is a beginning step in the process of repentance, and the sooner one begins, the sooner one can find the sweet peace and joy that come with the miracle of forgiveness.

4. Drink from the divine fountain, and fill your lives with positive sources of power. It is not enough simply to try to resist evil or empty our lives of sin. We must also fill our lives with righteousness. We must engage in activities that bring spiritual power.

I speak of such activities as immersing ourselves in the scriptures. There is a power that flows into our lives when we read and study the scriptures on a daily basis that cannot be found in any other way. Daily prayer is another source of great power. Fasting for specific strength or special blessings can strengthen us beyond our normal ability. Christian service, church attendance, service in the kingdom all can add to our storehouse of strength and power.

We must do more than simply remove the negative influences from our lives. We must replace them with righteous activities that fill us with the strength and determination to live as we should.

5. Remember that through proper repentance, you can become clean again. Moroni taught that “despair cometh because of iniquity” (Moro. 10:22). Those who are caught in immorality may be experiencing the devastating effects of despair. But there is an alternative.

For those who pay the price required by true repentance, the promise is sure. You can be clean again. The despair can be lifted. The sweet peace of forgiveness will flow into your lives.

The words of the Lord through Isaiah are sure: “Come now, and let us reason together, saith the Lord: though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they be red like crimson, they shall be as wool” (Isa. 1:18).

And in this dispensation the Lord spoke with equal clarity when He said, “Behold, he who has repented of his sins, the same is forgiven, and I, the Lord, remember them no more” (D&C 58:42).

As I said earlier, when it comes to the law of chastity, it is better to prepare and prevent than it is to repair and repent.

My beloved brothers and sisters in the gospel, our Heavenly Father desires nothing for us but to be happy. He tells us only those things that will bring us joy. And one of the surest principles given by God to help us find that joy is the law of chastity. I pray with all my heart that you will consider most solemnly the joyful consequences of keeping this law, and the tragic consequences of violating it.

Ezra Taft Benson, “The Law of chastity,” New Era, Jan. 1988, 4–5

Upon meeting with the program’s young assistant director, I was ushered into a large conference room where I met the other people who would appear with me on the “panel.” It was then I discovered that what I thought would be an informative medical symposium was actually a talk show titled “I’m a Virgin … and So What!”

The TV producers wanted me to elaborate on a gynecological procedure for women who have had difficult pregnancies and deliveries. The TV producers were mistakenly under the impression that this was some kind of miracle surgery that could restore a woman’s “chastity.”

I sat in shocked silence as we received instructions from the assistant director, two other men from the station, and the host of the show. Repeatedly we were encouraged to yell at each other and give the public a “good show.” They also told us the order in which we would be introduced on the program. First would be Stephanie, a 23-year-old virgin who was waiting to meet the right man before surrendering her virginity but who was not necessarily waiting for marriage. Next would be Teresa, a mother of two in her 40s, who championed the need for her daughter to remain chaste until marriage but who believed her son had”certain needs” so the need for chastity did not apply to him or any other man. Following Teresa would be Dolores, a 26-year-old who had lived with two men already and believed the concept of chastity was outmoded, unhealthy, and hypocritical. Finally, I would join the panel. Despite my objections, the show’s producers wanted me to explain the details of a “miraculous surgery that could restore a woman to her virginal state.”

Early that morning I had gone to the Lord in prayer, asking for guidance to help me with my TV appearance. I had felt the witness of the Spirit telling me I should appear on the program. Now I couldn’t understand how things could have turned so wrong.

How could this have happened, Heavenly Father? I asked silently in prayer. I can’t take part in this vulgar program. This is the adversary’s work. I can’t stay.

With the excuse of needing to move my car, I walked out of the TV station feeling sorry for these misguided people who had no idea of what the law of chastity truly was.

As I walked to my car, I felt a strong impression to stay. I can’t, I thought, repulsed by the idea of participating in such vulgarity. I closed my eyes and poured out my heart to the Lord for guidance, not quite understanding why I had been sent here in the first place. As I prayed in the refuge of my car, I thought of Abinadi testifying before King Noah, and the words of a scripture came to my mind: “But, there was one among them whose name was Alma, … and he was a young man, and he believed the words which Abinadi had spoken” (Mosiah 17:2). The reason I was here was precisely because I was different from these other people. I had a greater knowledge and understanding of divine principles and, like Abinadi, a responsibility to testify of them.

Not knowing how I was going to accomplish this—after the instructions we had received earlier to bicker, scream, and fight over the issue—but trusting the Lord would help me if only I had faith, I went back into the television station.

Upon my return, I was told the taping of the show would be delayed due to some kind of technical difficulties. “We’ll be back to get you as soon as we can,” they told the six of us, who were left alone in the room. There I sat with the other three women appearing on the program and two young men affiliated with the station.

I didn’t know what to do, so I sat in silence as the other guests talked to each other. Then, with a prayer in my heart, I steered the conversation back to the topic of the show. I let the others speak for a while and watched as they followed the producer’s instructions and acted as if already on camera. The women insulted one another, and the young men cheered or jeered according to their personal stands on the issue. After a lengthy and heated exchange the fight went out of them; they became bored and tired of defending their particular points of view.

This was my opportunity and I began to speak. I explained why chastity is so important and spoke of a loving Heavenly Father who desires his children to be happy. I told them how this happiness is only possible by obeying the Lord’s commandments and explained that the law of chastity applies to both men and women. I spoke of my love for the Savior. I also told them that as a single woman, I kept the law of chastity. I spoke softly. I spoke lovingly but with a power and strength that touched the hearts of these people.

I could see the effect my words were having through their eyes and in the way their faces softened and their bodies relaxed. They began to smile at one another. They began to ask questions and actually listen to the answers. We sat in the conference room for over two hours, and for much of that time I testified of eternal truths.

When we were finally called to the studio for taping, the entire mood of the group had changed. “I don’t believe chastity is unhealthy anymore,” Dolores said. Then she added with a smile, “I think it’s rather neat.”

Stephanie went on camera first, proclaiming she was proud to be a virgin and would remain one until she married. As we were called to face the cameras, the assistant director tried to exhort everyone back to their earlier positions on the issue, but the antagonism was gone. We had become friends.

The group spoke warmly and smiled as the cameras taped. Between takes, no one paid attention to the host, who pleaded for the feistiness to return. Gone was the fire of anger and belligerence that the guests had earlier displayed. The two young men who had been in the conference room with us and now were part of the studio audience came over to me each time we broke for a commercial to apologize; they were worried that when the cameras were rolling they might have seemed “anti-chastity.”

Before the taping was over I had the opportunity to bear my testimony of the gospel of Jesus Christ. As I prepared to leave, one of the two young men approached me. “Doctor,” he said as he stretched out his hand, “thank you for coming today. You have taught a lot of people about right and wrong.” Then he added shyly, “I’ve been meaning to ask you … what church do you belong to?” I told him I was a Latter-day Saint, and he immediately smiled. “My mother has been meeting with the elders for two weeks now,” he said. “They gave me a Book of Mormon the other day.”

“Have you read it?” I asked. When he shook his head no, I bore him my testimony of the Book of Mormon and challenged him to read it. He promised he would, and then we parted.

I did not expect the program to air since it had turned from a lurid talk show into a discussion of religious values, but it did—several times. In fact, it has turned into one of the most popular reruns for the TV channel.

I expect to learn one day if the young man who approached me that night may have been like the one who “believed the words which Abinadi had spoken.” In the meantime I am humbled by the fact that the Lord found me worthy to receive his inspiration and to make me his instrument for righteous teaching that day. I will never again doubt that one person, with the Lord, can make a difference.

Gordon B. Hinckley

Neal A. Maxwell

Susan W. Tanner

Thomas S. Monson

“Likewise, even though the Internet is saturated with sleazy material, you do not have to watch it. You can retreat to the shelter of the gospel and its teaching of cleanliness and virtue and purity of life. . . .

“Now . . . the time has come for any one of us who is so involved [in pornography] to pull himself [or herself] out of the mire, to stand above this evil thing, to ‘look to God and live’ (Alma 37:47). We do not have to view salacious magazines. We do not have to read books laden with smut. We do not have to watch television that is beneath wholesome standards. We do not have to rent movies that depict that which is filthy. We do not have to sit at the computer and play with pornographic material found on the Internet.

“I repeat, we can do better than this. We must do better than this.”

Gordon B. Hinckley